What do you do because you love of the other person?
How do you answer the call to business and the call to family, especially when the time commitment conflicts?
Today my Dad is back in the hospital. It feels like we’re beginning that long hopefully slow to arrive end of life cycle with several trips to the hospital some more critical than otheers. And I face a quandary. He’s bored out of his mind, wants to come home, wants people to come and visit and someone to talk to. I’m the one who lives closest to him – the other sisters are hour or more away, but I’ve got a business to run. I spent the weekend in the hospital with him, but I’ve got to get some of my work done too.
Quandary: How to decide where to spend my time and how much time to spend where? What are the priorities and values I am to call upon to make this decision? Does love mean I drop everything to be by his bed? What about love for my business and need to make a profit? What about love for the family for which I am working to provide some extra income?
I remember watching a movie about an up and coming Olympic skater who was killed in an auto accident just before tryouts. He’d made it all the way to tryouts. The last scene was of his father, a small business owner who had never seen his son skate. He had a business to run and needed to make money to pay for his son’s skating lessons addition to regular family expenses. He thought he would get to watch him skate someday – but that day never came.
I don’t want to have those feelings left over when Dad’s departure comes, but I also can’t be putting my business on hold every time he or one of my kids or my husband gets sick.
I know this isn’t unique to me. It’s something we all face as business owners, especially if you also are a single parent. I’m wondering what others do. How do you decide where to put your time and energy, especially when it seems like you are being called upon to spend it in more than one place / event at a time?
For me, this time I asked, “Is Dad safe and well-cared for? (Yes) “Is this illness, at least at this time life-threatening?” (No) “Does he NEED me there or is it more a matter of convenience – a keeping him company in an otherwise boring situation?” (No he doesn’t need me there to prove I love him, just to be someone to talk to) “Having spent the last 2 days there with him, can my business tolerate my absence and prosper?” (No)
Those are the questions I asked myself. What are the questions you ask yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Want to chat – to explore your options? Drop me a line and let me know what you think at leona@simplyeffectivecoaching.com
