Embracing the Chucky Within
One of the lessons I’ve learned is that what we resist, persists, attributed to Carl Jung, but I don’t know for sure. What I do know for sure is it doesn’t work to resist Chucky. Her voice just gets louder. If I don’t pay attention to her when she’s whispering, she has no problem screaming. By then my stomach, shoulders, and neck are generally involved as well. Not unlike a two year old having a temper tantrum Chucky screams at me, “NO!, Not that way! You’re doing it wrong! You’re gonna get hurt! They’re gonna get you! STOP, NOW!!!”
Problem is if I let her have her way, I’ll never experience what I want, never reach my goals, and never attain that moment of joyfilled satisfaction watching a dream become a reality.
What to do? Here’s just a couple of ideas:
1. Ask Chucky (myself), “What’s really going on? What are you afraid of?” Sometimes the concern is completely valid – and something I need to take into consideration. So I ask, “And what if _______ happens? What’s the worst case scenario? If that should happen what’s the most logical, reasonable thing to do?” Sometimes having a plan in place is all it takes to quiet Chucky. I’m suggesting we listen to Chucky, find out what the fear is and prepare or modify our plans to accommodate the possibility – and then move forward, slowly and gently at first, picking up speed as Chucky gets comfortable.
2. Take some time to understand what triggers Chucky. I know one way to trigger her is to set up a deadline. PANIC ensues! After all, a deadline means possible failure and being late is the same a failure for Chucky. So I plan for “around that time” deadlines. And if I’m done before I get to celebrate and if it’s not til the end of “around that time” I still get to celebrate. And when I’m picking an “around that time” I include a buffer to allow for the things in life I have no control over. My desire is to be done before the “around that time” happens, but if not, at least I’m not late. This buggers some of my more exact friends, but so it is. Their Chucky is screaming something else.
I’ve also learned that if I go gently with Chucky she is much less likely to trip me up later (we call it self-sabotage).
What does your Chucky scream? Whisper? What do you do to silence the scream and listen to the whisper?